Time Is Short

***
September 26, 2015
Lord, I commit to follow you from here on out with your grace. Please remind me to ask for your grace every moment of the day. Lord, my deepest desire is to finish well!
***

Having a funeral service today for a dear widow friend of mine, I have been seeing a pattern in what God’s been trying to show me. Time is short. I was planning on visiting this friend this past week and it came as a shock when I was told she had passed. Time is short.

For me personally, I have felt for a long time that I have a short time to live. That Jesus would come to take me home in my forties. Whether that be true or no, it has never left my mind and continually causes me to think long and hard about my life.

My recent focus has been not on my goals, not on my dreams, not on the vision I feel God’s put on my heart, but a seeking, listening, and waiting with the thought, Am I doing what the Lord wants?

Last year God did something in my heart that I still can’t explain. I have experienced Him in a way that my heart has longed for for years. I will never be content with anything else. But it takes work to stay in that “experience” so to speak, just like any relationship.

Some of you have been curious where God has been leading me with my ministry. I am still in a paused state. I have sought the Lord as to if this is really the case and He has given me peace that it is and what He wants in the mean time.
I am in a season of watching what’s going on around me.
A season of listening to the hearts of people.
A season of seeking God for the nation.
My Nation.
God has been pressing upon my heart a great need for prayer and fasting for this nation.
My heart still yearns for the people of my hometown, but the Lord has been expanding my vision to a much bigger need…
Our Nation.

This past Sunday we had I Love America Sunday at church. The services were directed towards a need of prayer. But what the common theme of what the nation also needs -which was also emphasized during the services- is fathers and grandfathers to begin taking up their responsibility in the family again. Which requires us women to allow the men to do so. The nation started collapsing the most when feminism and “women’s rights” took the stage. The men stepped down and the women stepped up, which is exactly what happened in the Garden of Eden.

Submission is hard for everyone, but it is a beautiful thing. Jesus, of all people, wasn’t independent. He did only what the Father told Him.
We all crave to be free.
To be independent.
To do what we want.
To chase OUR dreams.
To have OUR desires fulfilled.
We are a very selfish people.

In studying revivals of past times I have seen a few common themes.
It was usually a man.
A man that hated sin and wasn’t afraid to share that.
He was a man of prayer.
A man submitted to the Holy Spirits leading.
And Christians either detested the man or were silent.

Why have we become silent about things that are right? We say we pray about it, it’s not our job to do anything. I say that too, but I will be the first to admit that my prayers have lacked meaning and heart. They have mostly been “throw-up” prayers. Prayers that I just “say” to convince myself that I pray.

I am getting closer to forty every day. Last Sunday – I Love America Sunday – we had The Bontrager Singers in the evening. Their theme shirt was Finish Well and I was instantly drawn to it, which of course, ended in me buying one. A couple days later I found the commitment above I made before God in 2015 and immediately recognized a resemblance… Lord, my deepest desire is to finish well!

What does it mean to finish well?
What does that even look like?
If Jesus is my Lord, am I seeking Him everyday, in His Word, for direction in my life?

I’ve had people say, I have peace about doing this so God must be leading me. But as they are telling me what it is, several scriptures come to mind that point directly against it and it breaks my heart.
I’m not a confrontational person and I’ve been condemned by numerous people in my life so I lack courage to say anything. I end up watching them drift farther and farther away from the Lord with no thought of their welfare… I comfort myself with, It’s none of my business, my job is to love them.

But what is love?
Is love knowing someone is headed down a deadly path and not saying anything because it’s none of my business?
Is love watching someone live a life of sin and struggling, allowing them to continue to do so without at least spending time on my knees on their behalf because Oh I just need to love them?
Is love seeing someone in need, having a way to fulfill that, but telling them, You just need to pray about it and then sending them on their way?
What is love?

I think we will never know until we as individuals get on our knees and beg God to revive our own hearts. To stop looking at everyone else and to look at our own hearts for a change.
Who am I with Christ? is usually what we do.
But what if we asked, Who am I without Christ?
What if we realized how filthy our hearts are? What if we remembered why Jesus saved us in the first place?
There are times I am watching a reel on social and end up asking myself what I’m doing. There are times I lash out in anger and wonder where it came from. Selfishness, lust, envy, jealousy… It reigns in my heart if it wasn’t for Christ.

Forty is getting closer.
What am I doing with my life?

In my opinion, the most important question we can ask as a Christian is this:

Who is God, and is Jesus really my Lord or is He just an escape from Hell so I can live my life however I want on earth?

Life is short, whether we have a few hours left or many years. We do not know when our time will come. Every 9.5 seconds in America, someone dies.
Am I more concerned about my race this fall, or am I more concerned about my relationship with Jesus? Am I more concerned about getting a new car or am I more concerned about having a clear conscience before God and men? Am I more concerned about my ministry or more concerned about who is in control of my life – me or God?

Life is short.