Day 44
I can’t believe how many deep-seated lies and negativity I have had toward fitness and health. I’ve been trying for years to lose weight and now I understand why I’ve had such a difficult time in reaching my desired results.
One of the things God has been showing me is that He loves to hear my heart’s desire and it delights Him to answer my prayers, but… if doing so interrupts and puts a wall between our relationship He takes us through detours in reaching our desired destination in order to work as a team to get both of our goals accomplished.
“A mans heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9
I’m going to be honest, the last 44 days has not been easy. It is the most difficult thing to listen to my body on what it wants to eat, when it wants food, and when it is full or satisfied.
I have in the back of my mind, less calories + more exercise = my desired goal. But God has challenged me many times by asking, “Is this what you really want?” Of course I want to lose weight, who doesn’t?! But He began taking me deeper into my heart and then opening my eyes to see what I really want…
A healthy relationship with food
A healthy relationship with my body
A healthy relationship with fitness
A healthy relationship with God
I could lose weight till I am at my dream goal of 150 but in the end I would still not have what I truly desired. I would still struggle with what to eat and when to exercise because I wouldn’t want to gain any weight back. I would still struggle with how my body looked because man is never satisfied with where they are at. And I would still struggle with my relationship with God because maintaining my weight would just replace the idol of losing weight.
When God first led me to this 18inch Journey, in the back of my mind I was secretly hoping that I would quickly lose weight. As that did not become a reality and I heard of many others who were getting the results they were after, it discouraged me very much. I knew that was not why I started this journey, I started because I wanted to change my heart, yet it grieved me because I was not seeing what I craved.
No matter how many other benefits I see from walking this road with God, I still deeply desire to lose weight. I have grown closer to Him in a deeper way because I must trust Him in knowing He knows what is best. Tis true I have gained so many other health benefits as well and I feel freer in my spirit, yet letting go of my flesh is hard. But, I am determined and convinced that God’s way is best and I will continue following His path.
I pray that as I share this journey with you that it would be of some encouragement to someone else out there!
Be Still and Run 