How to Be Content in Running this Life Alone

When I was in my early teens I had no desire to get married; I wanted to be an independent career woman.  When I was about 16 I felt the Lord slowly changing my heart to prepare for marriage – little did I know how long with my stubborn, ornery self how long that would take!  I hated the entire process, fighting and arguing with God over why He wanted me to get married when I could serve Him better alone. 

Yet over time God allowed different guys to come into my life, some of them I was interested in, some not so much, some I convinced myself I liked, and others I felt like running away from.  It was an odd growing period.  It wasn’t till my mid 20’s that I began to become content with my singleness and actually desire marriage one day.  I would go back and forth saying things like, “I want my husband to be like this” to “I’ll never be married.”  Honestly there are times I still feel like this.  But I noticed the balance began to happen after I received a letter from a young lady responding to a prayer request I had shared with her about my internal contention between contentment and discontentment.

Dear Alli,

Greetings in Jesus’ precious holy name!

I will pray that you stay fully filled in Christ, but I will say that being content in your single years doesn’t mean your desire for marriage goes away, or you quit asking God for marriage.

Matthew 7:7-8 says, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: for everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

Use your desire for marriage to draw closer to God, and a time to pray that He will prepare you and your husband for marriage.

You can still desire marriage and seek “after” it while being content.  You must have faith!  It isn’t something that just happens for other girls.  It will and can happen for you.

Being single is pretty awesome!  We can literally take the whole day and spend it with Jesus.  We don’t have the responsibility of grocery shopping, paying bills, keeping house, cooking, or caring for children!  We can spend our time focused on and with our first love Jesus!

I just felt like I should tell you that.

I will pray that you are content, but also that God will have you meet your special someone soon!

…

I hope you have a great day!  Keep serving Jesus!

May He be your hands and feet so that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus!

Not only did this letter completely change my perspective but what she said about asking really hit home because God had never previously withheld anything I had asked of Him.  Over time I did feel the Lord promise me that one day I would get married.  That was exciting to me! 

However, I like to get permission from God by searching my heart for what I have peace about asking Him for before really laying my requests before Him – I pray for what I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me to pray.  This isn’t to say I never told God before that I wanted to get married, but I just never asked Him, it was more of a matter of sharing my heart with Him.  When I did begin asking Him that’s when I felt Him give me reassurance that one day I would get married.

On the other hand I also prayed, because I believe marriage is supposed to be two hearts becoming one in a sense that they can serve God better as a team than they could apart, that God would not lead my husband and I together till my husband needed me and we could serve God better together.  I am skipping a lot of details, but the last thing I felt the Lord told me when asking Him when I would get married is that my husband needs my prayers right now more than he needs me.  So as of present that has been my focus on the subject of marriage.  I faithfully pray for him at least once a day, sometimes multiple, just depends on when the Lord leads me to.

I know each of us are in a different season of life, but I don’t think God expects us to never ask Him about our future, ask for understanding, or ask specifically for a certain detail of our present lives.  As I have grown closer to Him, as long as I have obeyed Him in what He has asked of me, He has never withheld answering my questions.  Some of them are still future things so I must trust Him in keeping His Word but there are many answers to prayers and questions that He has already given me, some of which were future events that really did come true.  But I feel like this is a topic all in itself so I’ll stop there.

Here are three things that have helped me be able to stay content in my singleness:

1. My main encouragement to all you single ladies is to draw so close to God that He can give you direction, encouragement, counsel, and answers. 
2. Learn to run with Jesus every minute of the day. I feel like learning to run alone physically has been beneficial for me personally because it has given me time to draw closer to Christ.  Running with God has not only given me something to look forward to each day, (unless its cold outside), but it changes the way I interact with Him on a daily basis because I’ve seen the way He responds when I’m running… and it’s not something that can be explained, you must experience it for yourself.
3. My last tip in learning how to be content in running this life alone is to learn to love Jesus first and foremost because He is the only one that will ever fill your needs and deepest longings!  How do you do this?  The same way you would get to know a friend really well; talk with them often, spend time with them often, and think of them often.

This takes practice and though there may still be days you struggle with contentment, all you have to do is start giving God thanks for what He has given you and it’ll change your perspective in a life changing way.  May the Lord draw you closer and closer to Him each and every day, I love ya’ll, Happy Running!