Even though I became a Christian at a young age, for a long time I struggled with depression. I struggled with feeling worthless, useless, and unfulfilled. For years, I had this feeling of emptiness deep inside my heart that ached to be filled. I was told that this feeling was normal and that I’d just have to live with it, but for some reason I just knew that wasn’t true, I knew I was created for more than the life I was living and I knew that I was missing something big.
I started seeking God on why I was on this earth. What specific works did He create for me to do while I was here? You know, like what Ephesians 2:10 talks about, “for we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” I knew I had a specific calling. I wanted so desperately to know what God’s will was for my life.
Over time God revealed to me that His will is general for every child of His – love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind, and strength, love others, give thanks in all things, keep His commandments…
But in 2020 God began laying out His ultimate purpose for my life, the specific works He created me to do, at least for this season of my life. It was never my intention or plan to take Be Still and Run any farther than a journal about what God taught me while I was running. The name wasn’t even my idea. I remember doodling up a name and logo for the blog and for some reason, Be Still and Run seemed to stick, even though at the time I had no idea what it meant. It wasn’t until recent years that God thought it best to teach me the meaning behind such an oxymoron of a name. I mean who can run while also being still?
I grew up loving horses
and had planned on starting Solomon’s Stables where my goal was to bring others closer to Christ through lessons and training, programs, scripture trail mazes, shows, etc. I had it all planned out, with drawings and budgets, building plans, contracts and leases… I was ready. I even started giving lessons taking girls through a program called God’s Princesses where they took home a lesson to work on spiritually in which we then talked about before the next riding lesson. I was stoked!
But for some unknown reason, the lessons stopped and I lost interest in riding and training altogether. As I transitioned over into running I had a really hard time giving up the horse stuff and it wasn’t until I was forced to sell my horse this year because of a moving situation that I finally gave up on that dream completely. As I got more and more into running, I struggled with the thought that all my horse years were a waste. Slowly but surely God has been opening my eyes to see horses were my dream, not His, and that those years spent studying, training, and planning were actually preparing me for His Dream for my life.
Though I trust God will keep His promises to me, because different things in my past never came to fruition like I had planned, I have a really hard time believing that God’s plan will be fulfilled in my life. And on top of that, very few people have kept their word and promises to me, so it is hard for me to see God for who He truly is in this area… Faithful!
“For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”Isaiah 55:10-11
As I submit and surrender my life to fulfill God’s will and plan for my life I feel fulfilled and satisfied, content and filled with a peace I’ve never experienced before. I feel directly in the center of God’s will …
But those feelings are also easily distinguished if I get my eyes off of Jesus and onto my circumstances, or if I disobey Him in something because I am afraid of the outcome or what others will think.
You see, when we get our eyes off of Jesus it’s not that we are denying His existence, but we do start to deny and listen to the lies of the enemy about Who God is. And if what I have been noticing is correct, what we believe to be true about God affects every aspect of our Christian life.
I personally find huge motivation to keep going with the dream God has placed on my heart simply through the fact that I know this is where He wants me. There is just something about going to God asking Him to help me accomplish His Dream, rather than my own. There is something about seeking out His promises in scripture from a different angle, one that I know I’m not living my own life, but God’s.
I have been noticing that satisfaction in Christ is being okay with whatever happens because He is all that matters. Fulfillment seems to come from a surrendered life to God’s will and plan for our life, denying our own goals and ideas and embracing His. Motivation then comes by taking each instance and circumstance in our life to Christ as we would see an injury, a sign that our body is trying to tell us something, seeking out the reason and learning from it with intentionality and heavy pursuit, remembering that if we are truly obeying God then He will work out all things for our good.
“And we know that all tings work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”Romans 8:28
Even on days I don’t feel like getting out of bed or days I am struggling with bitterness because someone offended me, or I start to wonder if what I’m doing is a waste, knowing what God’s will and plan is for my life gives me motivation I need at any time to do what I should. And to be completely honest that motivation may also come after a bout of tears and prayer because we are overwhelmed, it’s not always a sunshine and blue sky type of motivation.
True Fulfillment and Satisfaction is the Secret to Gaining True Motivation that Lasts
Why do I say true? Because there are many false feelings that can be disguised as the true ones. How can you know the difference? Ask God for wisdom. If you doubt whether you have the true thing or not, in my case, you don’t, because just like people say when you meet the right one in a relationship, you know they are the one, the same seems to be true with the feelings of peace, fulfillment, and satisfaction.
Seek God about whether you have true fulfillment, satisfaction, and peace. He promises to guide out footsteps and to give us wisdom if we wholeheartedly seek Him. (See Psalm 32:8 and James 1:5)
Happy Running and may God bless you with a desire to seek Him more! Lord willing, I’ll see you next week…
And with this post comes the end of October 2022, focusing on one of the three frustrations of a runner – Motivation
Up Next, is Injuries! So if you are tired of struggling with injuries in your running life or simply tired of being so easily offended and hurt by others then stay tuned because I am so excited to share with you some of the things God has been teaching me through my own life and from observing and talking with others.
Plus, here is a peak at what else I have been working on, just for you!